Too Legit To Quit???

Ok, so Atlanta's professional sports teams haven't really been known as a serious contender in the past couple of years. Well, maybe the Falcons are an exception. They just need to learn how to carry the momentum and not fall through in the clutch. But I will leave them alone...for now. Let's talk about the Atlanta Hawks.

Picture it...Atlanta, Georgia, 1996 (said in my best Sophia Patrillo voice...hehe). The Autumn air is crisp, the leaves have all turned, and it's basketball season once again. I was hired to perform as a member of the Atlanta Hawks Dance Team. It was truly groundbreaking. We were the first dance team in the NBA to have male dancers, and we were out to make a name for ourselves. Yeah sure, there were a few odd looks and jeers at the first couple of games, but once people got used to the idea we were well accepted. As a child (back in the days of Spud Webb and Dominic), my father used to take my sisters and I to a couple of games each season. But this was my first up close and personal experience with the NBA. I mean, there I was, sitting on the sidelines, rooting on my team. Having players jump over me trying to get a rebound, mugging for the camera (which usually meant getting cheesy with one of the female dance team members because all the photographers just wanted T & A shots!), and even walking out of the old Omni Arena next to Michael Jordan. The basketball team faired decently that season, and made it to the second round of the play-offs. The next couple of seasons the team did so-so, and there was a big transition as the team played at the Georgia World Congress Center and at the GA Tech auditorium during the construction of their current home, Phillips Arena. The 1998-1999 season was the last that I danced for them, but I have managed to keep up with the team.

Now, take a BIG step forward, and picture April 2005. The Hawks have faired less than notably for a couple of seasons. And attendance at home games is down. Once again, tomorrow night it's time for that sure-fire way to pack the house...Fan Appreciation Night!! Special ticket packages, lots of hotdogs, pretzels and Chik Fil-A to be had, and the Hawks are playing the Bulls. Not that the game would have the same draw as back in the days of Air Jordan, but surely there will be some warm bodies in the seats. And just to be sure, the powers-that-be have planned an after game concert.

The one....the only...MC Hammer! Need I say anything more? At a normal game, once the clock gets down to about 5 minutes left in the game, people start filing out, trying to beat the traffic rush. And I can't blame them. It's not very often that a game nowadays is a nail-biter and the outcome determined in those final moments. I don't know which will cause them to leave sooner tomorrow night, the failing play of the basketball team, or the thought of seeing Mr Hammer jumping around like he's stomping an ant hill. I know that 80's and early 90's music are trying to make a comeback, but come on. The man was on that MTV show 'The Surreal Life'. That's pretty much an admission that your career has hit rock bottom. If it weren't for that show, half the people at tomorrow night's Hawks game probably will probably be too young to even be able to tell you what he sang. This trip down Nostalgia Lane is sure to include such hits as 'U Can't Touch This', 'Turn This Mutha Out', and 'Too Legit To Quit'. Do we really need to see multi-color balloon striped pants, gold chains, and someone dancing so fast that the paramedics mistake it for a grande mal seizure?

Please, Hammer...Don't Hurt 'Em!!!